Meme Dump

Inauguration Day

The Funny Papers

#IStandWithAnn Pedro X Molina

#IStandWithAnn JD Crowe

#IStandWithAnn Jack Ohman

#IStandWithAnn Barry Blitt

#IStandWithAnn Daniel Murphy

Kevin Necessary, Mike Luckovich, Dave Whamond, Phil Hands, Darrin Bell, Andy Marlette, Gary Huck, Walt Handelsman, Lalo Alcaraz, Dennis Goris, Nick Anderson, Michael de Adder, Clay Bennett, Pedro X Molina,

Why Is It ...

… that every time I try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas ... Easter ... Summer ... Friday or Tuesday and ruins it for me.

… that for all of you who got into my business this past year, I will be sending you a W-2.

… that I was arguing with boss one day and just decided to take off my glasses and say, “I don’t don’t wanna see you right now.”

… that no one understands that I always have something smart to say.

… that when someone says to me, “I’ve seen your true colors,” I say, “Good., Use them to paint your bedroom.”

… that I always offer to cook, not because I’m nice, but because I want the food to be good.

… that while I may look normal, deep down, inside I wanna be an octopus so I can slap eight people at once.

… that Facebook keep suggesting people I may know. Well, I do know them and I don’t like them.

… that whenever people tell me I smell good and then ask me what I’m wearing, I say, “I splashed on some Leave Me The Fu-Cologne.”

… that my favorite childhood memory is having energy.

I Didn't Say It ...

Mrs. Betty Bowers, "America's Best Christian",  on Mexico sending firefighters to California:

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re sending they’re best. Their sending firefighters to help solve America’s problems. They’re bringing firefighting uniforms. They’re bringing firefighting equipment. They’re bringing kittens down from the trees. And all, I assume, are good people.”

Nice riff on The Felon’s 2016 racist rant.

The firefighters from Mexico, and elsewhere, are doing more to help LA and the thousands of displaced citizens than the so-called President-elect.

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Michelle Visage, singer, producer, actress and RuPaul’s Drag Race judge, on calling transgenderism a mental illness:

“Don’t call transgender mentally ill if you believe a man in the clouds loves you unconditionally, but [only] under certain conditions.”

Snap.

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Bernie Sanders, Vermont Democrat Senator, writing for Fox News, on America:

“It’s hard to miss. Our country is rapidly evolving into two Americas. One America consists of less than a thousand billionaires who have an unprecedented amount of wealth and power and have never ever had it so good. The other America, where the vast majority live, consists of tens of millions of families who are struggling to put food on the table, pay their bills and worry that their kids will have a lower standard of living than they do. We are in a pivotal and unprecedented moment in American history. Either we fight to create a government and an economy that works for all, or we continue to move rapidly down the path of oligarchy and the rule of the super-rich.”

Eat.The.Rich.

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Lawrence O’Donnell, liberal political commentator, and host of The Last Word, on what liberals have done for America:

“What did Liberals do that was so offensive to the Republican Party? I’ll tell you what they did. Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did Conservatives do?  They opposed Liberals on every one of those things, every one. So when you try to hurl that label at my feet, as if it were something to be ashamed of, something dirty, something to run away from, it won’t work because I will pick that label up and wear it as a badge of honor.”

Yeah, call me a liberal and think you’re hurting me.

I’d rather be a liberal any day of the week than support a group of billionaire brats, rapists and racists and criminals.

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Colman Domingo, on his career, being gay in Hollywood, and playing mostly straight roles:

“I never limited myself to what I believed I could play, and I think that’s why the world has not limited me … I’m an actor, period, and I play everything. I just kept working, bringing my whole self into every role. The world shouldn’t have all of me. You have some of me, but not all of me. The offers that come in now are mostly straight roles. No one’s looking at me like, ‘He’s gay, he can’t do that.’ Because I said I can do anything. I try to live with grace and remember where I come from. I didn’t dream of fame—I dreamed of  doing meaningful work.”

I do not fall into that crowd of only gay actors can play gay, because then that would also mean that only straight actors can play straight, and that’s not true.

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Tom Nichols, writer for The Atlantic, on The Felon:

"Paradoxically, however, [The Felon]’s reckless venality is a reason for hope. { The Felon] has the soul of a fascist but the mind of a disordered child. He will likely be surrounded by terrible but incompetent people. All of them can be beaten: in court, in Congress, in statehouses around the nation, and in the public arena. America is a federal republic, and the states—at least those in the union that will still care about democracy—have ways to protect their citizens from a rogue president. Nothing is inevitable, and democracy will not fall overnight.”

There will be methods to contain The Felon, even though the GOP will goosestep for Hair Furor every chance they get.

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Gavin Newsom, California Democrat Governor, on The Felon withholding federal disaster aid to the fire-embattled state and his constant lies:

“He’s done it in Utah. He’s done it in Michigan, did it in Puerto Rico. He did it to California back before I was even governor, in 2018, until he found out folks in Orange County voted for him and he decided to give them money. So he’s been at this for years and years and years. It transcends the states, including, by the way, Georgia, he threatened similarly … that’s his style. And we take it seriously to the extent that in the past it’s taken a little bit more time [to get federal aid]. I’ve been pretty expressive about that in the context of someone threatening our first responders in terms of supporting the immediacy of their needs. I don’t know what he’s referring to when he talks about the Delta smelt in reservoirs. The reservoirs are completely full, the state reservoirs here in Southern California. Tragedies like this are why [he] never should have been elected. At a time when all Americans should be coming together to help California, he’s exploiting the tragedy for cheap political points.”

The Felon won’t help California because he says California didn’t vote for him so he’s clearly telling us AGAIN that he does not represent all of the people, just those who buy his cheap ass shoes and faux Bibles and the other bull shit he sells to pay his bills.

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Bobservations

Carlos doesn’t like kids; he says they’re loud and dirty and obnoxious and the only thing he likes about them is when I am asked if I like children and I say:

“Yes. Deep-fried with a side of Ranch dressing.”

But I digress. Carlos was set to translate at the courthouse here in Camden and I dropped him off on my way to work. He knows the building very well and finds his way around with ease. The courts were slightly back up so he sat on a bench in the hallway waiting for the lawyer and client to be called for their hearing.

As he sat there, two screaming girls were running amok in the hallway and finally their mother put the kibosh on the shenanigans. So, they walked to the bench where Carlos sat and began talking to him:

“What is that?”

“My cane.”

“What’s it for?”

“It helps me get around because I can’t see.”

“You can’t see?”

“Nope.”

And that started a long game of how many fingers am I holding up, until one girl asked him how he got to the courthouse:

“Did you drive?”

“No, someone dropped me off.”

“How did you get up here.”

And he talked about counting steps and listening to the sounds in the hallways to find the elevators and the stairs and the courtroom doors, and those little girls sat with him and questioned him and studied him and chatted with him learned a little something from him about being differently abled.

I said:

“See you do like kids.”

“No I don’t.”

“You do because I would have asked to have them fried and served with Ranch.”

And I wasn’t wrong. But he is far sweeter and more patient with kids than he likes to let on.

He’s really a sweetheart.

This Tuxedo Says is from July 2020:

"Tuxedo has been trying to explain the asshattery of All Lives Matter on Facebook for weeks now … this time he chose a direct route."

And we can continue to do that every day since then, y’all.

Right before other state lawmakers were set to be sworn in, Texas Democrat Representative Venton Jones asked his boyfriend, Gregory Scott Jr., to marry him:

“In a time when our love and our very existence are challenged, often in the halls of this very building, this moment is a reminder that love conquers all. Gregory and I stand as proof that progress is unstoppable, and no amount of hate can erase the truth of who we are.”

In Texas, y’all; in the statehouse!

Of note, the Democrats gave us our first African American President and our first African American Vice President.

Republicans gave us our first Convicted Felon President.

See, there is a difference.

Last week on Jeopardy, journalist and hottie Drew Goins showed up to the competition in a sweater that gave us well-rounded pecs and nipples to gawk at.

PS He won.

South Carolina’s Nancy Mace descended even further into madness this week after Democrat Representative Jasmine Crockett called her a child:

“I am no child! Do not call me a child. I am no child. Don’t even start, I am a grown woman, 47 years old.”

And then Nancy Mace, a grown woman, not a child, asked Crockett if she wanted to “take it outside.”

Doesn’t get more childish, Nancy.

As The Felon prepares to return to the White House, Amazon has cut commitments protecting Black and LGBTQ+ people. Statements that said Amazon supported the rights of transgender people and LGBTQ+ and Black employees disappeared from a company webpage in December.

So, if you’re trans, Black or Gay, Amazon has clearly stated they don’t give a fuck about you and if you still want to shop there because it’s easy peasy, then maybe you don’t give a fuck about equality either.

When I heard that Carrie Underwood was going to perform at The Felon’s inauguration, my first thought was to boycott her music and then I realized I have been boycotting her music since she first started singing.

PS The flag is not meant to be worn as a tank top, hon; that’s not patriotism.

During a confirmation hearing for defense secretary nominee, alcoholic, homophobe, sexual predator and misogynist Pete Hegseth, GOP Senator Eric Schmitt complained about Wokeness in the military. while sitting in front of a sign that misspelled the word “military.”

You cannot make this shiz up.

Matthew Djordjevic is a model from Australia and is repped by Ford Models, Kult Models, and FiveTwenty Model Management but all I need know is, Would You Hit It?